Superman and the Beanstalk
by Daniel Fielder
Summary: When a famine hits the home of a group of friends, Clark, Garth, and Kell, they stumble upon magic beans that lead them to an amazing land.
1. My What a Happy Day

Something I couldn't resist writing.

Disclaimer: Mickey and the Beanstalk belongs to Walt Disney, and Legion of Superheroes and any other Marvel character I use belongs to DC Comics and Warner Brothers. Oh, I just realized something! I'll tell you about it at the end of the chapter.

 **Superman and the Beanstalk**

Chapter 1: My What a Happy Day

Clark Kent was putting his son Conner to bed with his friend Garth Ranzz as he was putting his daughter Dacey to bed as their wives Lois and Imra were about to leave.

"Now boys, for once get them to sleep by their bedtime." Lois said with a smile.

"Good night sweeties." Imra said as she blew both children a kiss.

"Good night Aunt Imra." Conner said.

"Good night Mommy." Dacey said.

"Now go to sleep kiddo." Clark said.

"Could you tell me and Dacey a story, Daddy?" Conner asked.

"Well, I guess one wouldn't hurt." Clark answered.

"Yay!" Conner called out. "Isn't that cool Unca Garth?"

"Well…" Garth said. "Uh… No."

"This is a story everyone should hear." Clark said.

"Yeah, but not everyone should tell it, and you know who." Garth said.

"Well I'm gonna tell it anyway." Clark said.

"Alright, suit yourself." Garth said with a sigh.

"Now, once upon a time there was a place called Happy Valley." Clark began. "It was called Happy Valley because everyone who lived there was happy."

"That makes sense." Garth said with a smile.

"Okay kids, now close your eyes and tell me if you can picture it." Clark said.

"I think I can." Conner said.

"Me too." Dacey added.

"It's all nice and green with a lot of hills." Conner said.

()()()()()

Happy Valley was often called Nature's garden spots, nestled among green rolling hills. A lovely brook, the laughing brook, flowed through the valley. Winding roads connected the valley with stately trees lining them. They also connected the lush fields and prosperous farms that dotted the landscape, and on a hill top over-looking the valley and shining like a jewel stood a magnificent castle, and two precious princesses lived in the castle. One was the fair maiden Imra Ardeen who made fair rules and kept the country clean. Her fellow princess, Lois Lane, kept the country bright, cheerful, and happy with her beautiful singing voice. Men, women, and children came from all over the world, feeding the country's trade, just to hear her beautiful voice.

 _My… What a happy day._

 _What a sunny sky._

 _Kinda make you sigh_

 _In a happy way._

 _What a very merry day…_

 _All the world is gay._

 _When your cares are light._

 _And your heart takes flight._

 _And you're swept away._

 _The air is sweet with clover._

 _The clouds are turning over._

 _Oh yes they're turning over_

 _Just to show their silver lining._

 _My what a happy day…_

 _Never knew such bliss._

 _Never read of this in a book or play!_

 _What a lovely day!_

 _What a great big gorgeous, sumptuous, thumping, bumptious, hum-galumptious, simply scrumptious!_

 _My what a happy day!_

When Lois would sing, all the farmers would join in as well, and their work got twenty times quicker.

 _My what a happy day…_

 _Never knew such bliss._

 _Never read of this in a book or play!_

 _What a lovely day!_

 _What a great big gorgeous, sumptuous, thumping, bumptious, hum-galumptious, simply scrumptious!_

 _Oh me, oh my, what a happy day!_

The voice of Lois cast a magic spell of joy and prosperity throughout the land, but it was too good to last, for one day a mysterious shadow crept over the valley and something dreadful happened.

()()()()()

Lois and Imra were talking. They weren't biologically sisters, but they had been raised in the same home for so long that they couldn't have been closer if they were. When they sky got surprisingly dark, Lois and Imra both screamed and tried to run, but they were caught when the creature who had caused the darkness grabbed them, and they knew no more for a long time.

()()()()()

When the shadow lifted, Lois and her sister were gone. No longer was the valley happy, for without the magic of Lois' voice and Imra's wise guidance, all was misery… Misery… Misery.

The grass fields and trees all became a depressing reddish color as the desolation spread throughout the land and everything dried up. The fields of corn turned to dust almost before you could say kerplop. The Laughing Brook flowed no more, and what little water remained fell down the cracks that appeared in the river bed.

To think that this land was once happy valley, and now it was little better than gruesome gulch.

Days passed. Then weeks passed. Then months past.

()()()()()

A group of humble peasants, three orphaned boys, were hit the hardest. All they had was a cow who had dried up with the Laughing Brook. The three boys were all that were left of two proud families who had tilled the land together. Among them were Clark Kent and his brother Kell and their closest friend, Garth Ranzz. The house was so much to handle for the three boys that it was in a derelict state with one of the doors having fallen off very recently. The three poor farmers sat at the dinner table as they were on the edge of starving to death. By some combination of miracles and careful planning, the three were still alive, still breathing, and sharing a pitiful crust of bread between them. Clark made as thin cuts with his knife as he could to save the last loaf of bread they had for as long as they could.

Were their spirits broken? Did they lose hope? Yes. The three teenagers were facing famine and were left only with beans… Well a bean by now. One bean to split between three people. Clark cut it as thinly as possible until there were three semi-thin bean slices that barely made the bread bulge. The only bright side anyone could have found was that at least the bean didn't have any bones. Kell, though still muscular, had become gaunt from lack of food, becoming a bag of bone and weakening muscles. A true picture of despair, but Kell never whimpered. Kell never gave up.

"SHUT UP!" Kell called out. "I CAN'T STAND IT!"

Kell then grabbed as many plats as he could and attempted to eat them like a sandwich before Clark and Garth grabbed him and pulled the dishes away.

"Okay Kell, easy now." Clark said as Garth and Clark rubbed his back in an attempt to calm him. "Easy now."

"Don't worry guys." Kell said with a heavy sigh as he breathed hard from the rush of adrenaline. "Yeah… I'll be alright. I'll be alright."

Kell said he'd be alright, but Clark wondered. Kell had suffered too much. Garth, knowing how Kell got when he was riled wondered what plan was forming in the mind of the desperate Kell.

Kell meanwhile saw the axe they had used to chop down wood and got a sinister smile on his face as he slipped away and grabbed it.

"KELL NO!" Clark called out in alarm when he saw the empty space where the axe usually hung.

()()()()()

"Here cowsie-wowsie." Kell said in a raspy, demented voice as he approached the cow. "Nice old cowsie-wowsie."

"Kell!" Clark called out as Kell suddenly shouted out and lunged at the cow with the axe. The cow mooed in alarm and jumped onto a tree as Clark pulled the axe out of Kell's hand, and he then began chewing on the tail before Garth and Clark grabbed Kell and held him down.

"But guys…" Kell panted as he began to come back to his senses. "I've just gotta eat. I'm so… Hungry."

Garth and Clark helped Kell into the house where he rested on the couch.

* * *

Aw, poor Kell.


	2. Beans

Chapter 2: Beans

Clark was holding Garth down to demonstrate the story as the children giggled.

"Poor Kell was completely out of his head." Clark said. "It was a pitiful sight to see Kell deteriorate after weeks without food. Poor Kell."

"Poor me." Garth said after Clark let go.

"It was all they could do to restrain him." Clark said. "Poor Kell had just about reached the end of his rope. They were definitely in a sorry predicament."

"Kell may have gone nuts, but he had the right idea." Garth said. "Kill the cow."

"Oh no, Unca Garth!" Conner shouted. "The cow was your best friend."

"Well a friend in need is a friend indeed." Garth said.

"So what?" Clark asked.

"So, they need some steak." Garth said plainly.

"No!" Dacey whined. "If you kill the cow, I'm not gonna listen to the story."

"Relax hon, I was just teasing." Kell said.

"You always did have a morbid sense of humor." Clark said with a smile. "Anyway, they eventually decided to sell the cow."

()()()()()

Things began to look much brighter for the boys after Clark went to a village to sell the cow. The thought of prosperity after going so long without it brought a smile to Garth and Kell's faces.

"Hey look!" Garth called out as he and Kell acted out all the food they would eat after Clark returned with the money.

 _Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie!_

 _Pancakes piled up 'til they reach the sky._

Kell hummed along as his high spirits had helped get him back to normal.

 _Oh… I wanna eat and eat and eat and eat_

 _And eat until I die._

 _Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie!_

 _Pancakes piled up 'til they reach the sky._

 _Lots of starches._

 _Lots of greens._

 _Fancy chocolate covered-_

"Beans!" Clark called out as he held up a dingy yellow box.

"What do you mean beans?" Garth asked.

"I sold the cow for some magic beans." Clark said.

"Beans?!" Kell called out angrily. "We were better off than that a month ago!"

"But Kell, these aren't ordinary beans." Clark insisted. "They're magic beans. If you plant these beans in the light of a full moon, do you know what'll happen?"

"Yes, we'll get more beans!" Kell said testily as he grabbed the box and threw it in a corner as the four beans fell into a hole there. "Magic beans! Humbug!"

()()()()()

Later that night, Clark rested in one of the cots in his, Kell, and Garth's room. How could he have been so stupid?

 _Magic beans. Light of a full moon._ Clark thought angrily. _How could I have fallen for that? Maybe I'll wake up in the morning to find the whole disaster was a dream._

Clark then went to bed having given up his ration for his foolishness.

()()()()()

But it wasn't as foolish as Clark thought as the night's full moon shone on the very spot the beans had fallen in through a nearby window. A small green stalk popped out of the hole and began to twist around. It then grew through two small holes into the boys' room and went close to Garth's mouth as it went onward. It then went past Clark's bed, taking his blanket with him and leaving behind a leaf that caught on Clark's foot. It then went up to the top bunk where Kell slept and tickled his bare feet with its vines.

The beanstalk then burst out of the doors and windows of the house until it lifted the whole thing up. As it continued to grow, the house crumbled, leaving only the three boys. Clark ended up spending the rest of his sleep on a large leaf. Kell ended up protected by a large vine coil he ended up falling into. Garth rested on a large vine face down.

And all through the night it continued to grow onward and upward.

* * *

Garth: That beanstalk was a menace to aviation.

Conner: What's aviation?

Clark: Airplanes.

Conner: Oh.

Me: I love this story.


	3. On Top of the Beanstalk

Chapter 3: On Top of the Beanstalk

At dawn, Clark, Garth, and Kell woke up to find themselves on top of a giant bean stalk starring up at a huge castle sitting on what appeared to be a floating island hidden by clouds.

"Hey, I was right." Clark said with a smile.

"Yeah you were." Kell said. "Look Clark, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Clark said. "It's not like this happens every day. Let's get those outfits we made for Halloween last year to investigate.

"Cool." Garth said. Garth put on a navy blue outfit with yellow lightning streaks and white gloves and boots. Clark put on a blue outfit with a red and yellow S on the chest along with a red cape. Kell pulled on a similar outfit to Clark's, but with red shoulders with red gloves.

They then headed out and wondered who lived there. Man or monster? Friend or foe? A princess or a dragon?

They all knew one thing. Three things drew the three boys to the castle. Hunger, desperation, and a love of adventure.

It was a fantastic experience as there were caterpillars as big as dogs and butterflies as large as eagles.

"Wouldn't it be amazing if mortal man never set foot here before?" Clark asked.

"Well somebody did." Kell said as Garth fell into a large foot print.

"Oh man." Garth said as he got out. "Who made those?"

"Well it wasn't Cinderella." Kell said calmly. Hopefully it was something friendly.

Soon they arrived at a moat that surrounded the castle, so they took a peapod and made it into a boat as the three took some willows and rowed towards the castle.

Then suddenly without warning up in the sky dragon flies the size of fighter planes arrived.

"Great Krypton!" Clark called out. "What whoppers."

"No kidding." Kell said. "Hey, I got an idea! Hey, long noise! Over here!"

"Kell!" Garth began before the dragon fly dove in, and all three boys ended up right at the steps of the castle. "Smart thinking."

"Okay, how are we gonna climb these steps?" Clark asked.

"How about you get on my back, and we'll hoist Kell up. Then he can pull us up and so on and so forth."

Everyone agreed to this and began to slowly make their way up the stairs. This was the most exciting part of their journey so far. Forgotten was their hunger. Forgotten was their fear. The young boys never faltered and eventually made it to the top step.

They then wondered two things, what mystery lay behind the cold walls of the castle, and what dark spell hovered over this gloomy place.

Clark then went up and knocked on the door, but no one came. They wondered if they should go in, but eventually they decided to risk it. They walked in and found themselves in an enormous entry hall, easily twenty times as big as any normal room. It was also as silent as a tomb. Garth was the last to go through and ended up having to spend a few moments putting his pants back on.

"Ha!" Kell called out. "Caught with your pants-"

"Kell." Clark said quietly.

"Caught with your pants-"

"Kell!" Clark said again as Garth pulled his pants back on.

"Well his underwear was showing." Kell said finally as they walked around.

In an enormous dining room, they looked up to see an enormous pile of food.

"FOOD!" Kell called out in joy. "Let me at it!"

They then ran up the winding carving on a table leg and began eating whatever they could find. Garth began eating peas the size of basket balls and moved to Jell-O that he could swim through. Garth then crashed into a thing of walnuts as he came out.

"Who's there?" A very familiar voiced asked from a chest.

As she said that, a blond girl, who wore a maid's outfit, walked out.

"Is anyone here?" The girl asked.

"That's Princess Lois' voice!" Peter called out. "And that maid's Princess Imra!"

"Yahoo!" Kell called out.

"How'd you two get here?" Clark asked as he looked in through the keyhole and saw Lois' lovely purple eyes and black hair.

"Imra and I were kidnapped by a wicked giant." Lois said.

"Oh." Clark said before it sunk in. "A giant?!"

"A giant?!" Kell cried out.

"A giant?!" Garth called out.

"A giant." Imra confirmed.

* * *

Well… Things look bad, don't they?


	4. The Giant

Chapter 4: The Giant

"A giant?!" Conner asked in alarm.

"A giant?!" Dacey asked in the same voice.

"A giant." Garth said as he nodded his head.

"Bigger than forty men." Clark said.

"Wow." Dacey said.

"A giant that had the power to turn himself into anything, man or beast." Clark said.

"Wow." Conner said.

"It was the giant that kidnapped the princesses and brought ruin to Happy Valley." Clark explained.

"But why did the giant want to kidnap the princesses?" Conner asked.

"Because he was cruel and selfish." Clark explained. "He didn't care what happened to the valley. He just wanted someone to sing him to sleep and keep house for him."

"Couldn't he have just done it himself?" Dacey asked.

"You see hon, when you're cruel and selfish, you don't like doing a lot of things for yourself." Garth explained.

"Oh." Dacey said.

"Well anyway, back to the story." Clark said.

()()()()()

Just after learning about the giant, they heard a loud booming voice say…

"Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! Fee fi fo fum!"

The giant, a man in a white shirt arrived bouncing a large ball.

 _Fee fi fo fum!_

 _Hee hi ho hum!_

 _I'm a most amazing guy!_

 _A most amazing guy am I!_

 _Fee fi fo fum!_

 _Hee hi ho hum!_

 _I'm stuff I'm telling you,_

 _For here's what I can do!_

 _I can change myself into an elf._

 _Fly up high like a birdie._

 _I can disappear into atmosphere._

' _Cause I know the magic wordies._

 _Fi fo fee foy!_

 _Fee fee-fee fee._

"Fi-Fi?" The giant asked after a minute. "I don't know no Fi-Fi."

He thought for a moment.

"Fee fi fo fum." The giant said. "I smell…"

The three boys hid as Imra got close to the chest, and the giant grabbed a large pot and smiled.

"Pot roast!" The giant called out happily. "Chocolate pot roast. With pestachimo, with pestachi- with pista- With green gravy."

The giant then made himself a sandwich with some cheese Garth was hiding behind, some lettuce Kell was hiding in, and a large chicken leg, which Clark ended up being put into. He then poured some pepper on the sandwich which caused Clark to sneeze and cause his head to poke out.

"Um… Hi." Clark said nervously before he rushed off.

"Oh no you don't!" The giant called out. "You can't get away from Basil Karlo!"

Karlo then grabbed Clark.

"I've got ya!" Basil said as he didn't hear anything. "I think I got ya."

Karlo then looked inside his fist.

"Yeah, I got ya." Karlo said.

"Karlo…" Clark said with a smile as he gestured Karlo to look.

"What is it?" Karlo asked. "What is it?"

Karlo opened his hand as Clark walked on his life line.

"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty." Clark counted. "Boy what a lifeline."

"Well what's this here?" Karlo asked as he pointed at a spot on his lower palm.

"Oh, I can't believe it!" Clark said in mocked surprise.

"Is it bad?" Karlo asked.

"Well it says here that you can change yourself into anything." Clark said.

"Sure!" Karlo said with a wide smile. "You wanna see me? I can change myself into the darndest things! Go on, give me something. Anything."

"Anything?" Clark asked.

Anything." Karlo answered. Clark then looked around and saw a flyswatter. This gave him an idea.

"Can you change into a fly?" Clark asked.

"A cute teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy house fly?" Karlo asked.

"That's it." Clark said. "A house fly."

"Ah, you don't want a fly." Karlo said. "How about a bunny with long pink ears?"

"Well of course if you can't do a fly then-" Clark said before Karlo conceded.

"Alright, a fly." Karlo said. "Why?"

"Well uh… Because." Clark said.

"Alright." Karlo said. "A teeny-weeny fly. With pink wings. Now for the magic wordies! Fee fi fo fum! Hee hi ho hum!"

While Karlo was doing this, Clark called Garth and Kell out of hiding and prepared to use the flyswatter on the giant when he instead turned into a huge pink rabbit.

"You sure you don't want a pink bunny?" Karlo asked before he noticed what they were holding. "Hey, what is this?! You think you'd fool me?"

Karlo then grabbed the three, opened the chest, pulled out Lois, and dropped the boys in, but Clark managed to get out of the giants grasp unnoticed and hold onto the chest as it was put on a high up shelf.

Things looked pretty dark for the prisoners as Karlo locked the chest as Clark climbed up and prepared to try and get the key as Karlo dropped it in his pocket. Lois then smiled and began singing a soft soothing song to get Karlo to sleep.

 _In my favorite dreams,_

 _Everyone is so delightful._

 _No one's mean or spiteful._

 _In my favorite dreams._

Lois then waved for Clark to move forward as Karlo got drowsy.

 _Yes, and in my favorite dreams,_

 _There my heart can go romancing._

 _Dancing to a heavenly theme._

 _But there's something else I look forward to._

 _It's a secret, but here's a clue._

 _He's my favorite you-know-who._

 _He's the hero of my most favorite dreams._

Clark then took a threading needle and stuck it on the floor of the self. He then used a twine he'd brought with him to go slowly down to the giant to get the key to free his friends and escape with Lois and Imra.

As Karlo began to fall asleep, Clark landed on his shoulder and began to walk down.

" _In his right breast pocket, you'll find the key._ " Lois sang, helping Clark out, and Clark nodded and began making his way to Karlo's right breast pocket. " _The right breast pocket. Go carefully._ "

Lois then gasped when Clark fell in, but Clark was alright and was about to pull the key out when it got caught on a snuff box, so Clark had to give an almighty tug to free it, and that caused the whole thing of snuff to be released, and Clark let out a huge sneeze.

This woke Karlo up, and he yelled, "I'll smash- AHCHOO!"

Karlo then slammed his pocket and looked inside but no one was there.

"Huh." Karlo said. "Nightmare."

He then went back to sleep as Clark climbed back up the thread and made it to the shelf with the key, barely.

()()()()()

"He made it!" Kell called out from the chest as he watched the whole thing from the key hole.

"He did?" Garth asked. "Great. Here he comes with the key."

"Let me have it, Clark!" Kell called out and accidentally got knocked in the mouth by the key.

Clark then freed the two.

()()()()()

Things looked bright for the five teenagers as they left with Lois and Imra, but Clark wasn't really to take chances. He tied Karlo's shoes together in case he woke up, which he did. Clark then finished tying the shoes and rushed off with his friends. While his friends rushed off to the beanstalk, Clark used a wine bottle cork to toss him to the beanstalk as his friends already managed to get there, and they were closely followed by Karlo. The five then hurried down the beanstalk as Garth and Clark grabbed a saw and began cutting the beanstalk down as Kell moved the girls as far away as possible. As Karlo was halfway down, the beanstalk was finally cut in two, and Karlo fell, screaming his head off. He smashed into the ground leaving a large indent on the ground, killing himself in the process.

"Thank you." Lois said to the boys, but particularly to Clark.

"You were all very brave." Imra added.

So with the princesses' return, happiness returned to Happy Valley, and the spot where Karlo fell became a grassy hill that remained a preservation in honor of the three young heroes. Kell moved into the village while Garth and Clark ended up staying and marrying Lois and Imra, and they all lived happily ever after.

()()()()()

Conner cheered as he clapped her hands.

"Tell another one Daddy." Conner said eagerly.

"Sorry kiddo, but your mom will kill me if I don't put you to sleep." Clark said. "Alright champ?"

"Okay." Conner said as he went to sleep.

"Night night." Dacey said as Garth and Clark left as Imra and Lois smiled and talked about their adventure together.

* * *

Karlo: Hey, has anyone seen a guy dressed in bright blue?

Me: No, I uh… (I pass out.)

Jenny: Doug! Doug speak to me!

Karlo: What's the matter with him? Something he ate?

Robert: No, he'll be okay. Good night Basil.


End file.
